Capacity stretched season

I am overwhelmed this week for all the to do things list. Just too many things to do yet so little time to accomplish. Feeling my flesh crying out loud now.

besides stretching of capacity, guess i should know how to manage my time and events. Is there anything which i can eliminate?

Tue: choir prac
wed: entourage gown fitting
thur: dinner and net working
fri: church wide bs
sat: attend extra service?
Sun: service, team game, nite int'l idol
mon: assignment due.

My schedule is intimidating! Where got time to read and do book review?

i am simply overwhelm now. What have i gotten myself into? Haha! I think my maximum capacity has reached yet again. Time to stretch my wine skin to another brand new level. StreeeeettTcCChh! Ouch!

Abba father, pls help me and multiply my time. I dont want to hand in my assignment late. Give me the wisdom to speed read, digest and complete e book review in the shortest time. I CAN DO ALL THINGS THRU CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENED ME!

School of Theology (aka SOT)

Wow inside out. with a blink of an eye, its already one month since SOT starts (30 mar to 16 aug). Yes! I survived! There are indeed countless things to do. Really thank God that THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH!

I believed those who undergo SOT will be groomed inside out. The schedules for assignments and activities will really humble you as we cant do it with own strength but by the strength of lord!

Weekend services with Dr Steve Munsey!

Pastor Steve Munsey is simply AWESOME!!! Beyond words description! He is the most creative & innovative pastor I have ever seen in my entire life!

He preached in a 'dramatic-monologue' with background music which literally made the whole bible alive with his acting talents! Goshhhhh I could only says for those who have missed his service....IT WAS A GREAT LOSE......

sigh bad mood! %&()@&+(%)&%&+%* later then write more here....

Sudden surge of Panic Attack

I don't know why... but I was suffering from a panic attack earlier when I was in the office.... I just don't know how to do it! I was about to surrender..... until I realigned my focus that I AM to RULE THE WORLD WITH CHRIST AS A QUEEN! I AM THE HEAD AND NOT THE TAIL, ABOVE n NOT BENEATH! I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME! I AM ABLE TO DO THINGS EXCEEDING, ABUNDANTLY, ABOVE ALL THINGS!

On my way back home in the cab, there were 2 road accidents along Nicoll highway.... sigh.... ambulance ....should be quite bad accident. I saw 3 accidents on the road within 4 days..... We really have to be extra careful....

The chain of accidents sets me thinking, life is indeed fragile. We must treasure our limited time & maximize what we could do as much as possible in our lifetime. We must treasure our relationship with our family members and friends when we are all still healthy. We can only enjoy each other's company when we are healthy..we can't do that if we are always sick in the body. I know I am not a good, obedient and submissive daughter... But I am trying my best to exercise my self control.... seeking God and surrendering in tears.....

Sometimes, when I really don't know how to love anymore.... I will be reminded of the 10 commandments. When I feel discouraged and lost of hope, I will think about the promise which God revealed when I was camping at the wilderness in Israel. I want to pen this promise down specifically as I WANT TO SEE IT COME TO PASS SOON!! I know it requires SUPERNATURAL INTERVENTION! A MIRACLE!

I am in the mode of "hunger for testimonies"......so that I will be encouraged.....fresh manna! deeper encounter! fresh oil from heaven!

*meditating on the song....THIS IS OUR GOD by Hillsong....

Sowed in tears but will REAP in Joy!

We have a prophet of God with us over the weekend services, 25 & 26 April 09. He taught us pertaining to End Time Wealth Transfer...

3 important things that we must do:
1. Pay our Tithe
2. Give our Offerings
3. Be quick to fulfill our vows to God

I came to service well prepared with the desire to seize this opportunity to SOW! (I must admit that I was tempted to change the offering amount...thank God I didn't)

Managed to sow 10 times more than my usual offering! Heart pain...Yes! I know it's not a very huge amount....but it's the best that I could offer at this moment. I give with an attitude of worship..... I know my God is not a Taker...He is a BLESSER! I want to STRETCH & exercise my level of Faith, Trusting Him with my finances & the desires of my heart. For where my treasure is, there my heart will be!

I have never been living in lack ever since I followed Him. He takes care of all my finances and needs etc......I am believing him & waiting with expectancy for the next exciting phase of my life...

Since I am given the freewill to choose, I javascript:void(0)will choose to:
1. follow Abba Father
2. be teachable
3. be quick to obey
4. to cruxify my flesh (with lotsa tears)
5. be trained

Abba Father, You are more important than money, to me. (why I speak like stars wars that green little monster....) :D

Impacting the market place

God knows my goals & desire for this year...Well... I am not very ambitious...the goal I set was only targeting at 1 each quarter! 1 who will remain and life being changed & regain their hope in life....

So happy today God answered my prayer in the most unexpected way....Indeed it requires team work...Some sow, some invite, some to reap the harvest...whatever it is....I thank God for the greatest miracle today! My colleague got saved today! 3 in total now.... I really hope I can impact my allocated market place. Its exciting to find out that God is slowly placing people in my workplace...there are 3 new colleagues who are also from the same church! Including the 3 new converts...wow 6 in total liao!! It first started with one and only me and now there are 6!! PTL! It is one of my dream to have a prayer group in my office....Maybe I could seriously pray about it. :D Exciting!

I have been praying to be a 'fruitful' believer...and I have this fear in me that its very difficult for me to be soul-winner! I tried, I sowed, I invest time and money....but my hope seems to dim off especially when my friend "fly kite" with me twice ..... But God! He is always faithful! He knows when we need encouragement.... when we are beginning to have doubts on our capabilities or spiritual abilities, He would intervened and do the miracle in the most natural way! He is never too late nor too early!

PRAYERS are indeed POWERFUL! PRAYERS ARE MEANT TO BE ANSWERED!
DON'T GIVE UP N KEEP ON PRAYING, PRAYING! PRAYING!

Blabber "Destructive "comments

Someone asked me one question recently which almost BLOWN ME AWAY. I wonder why he felt it that way? Showing concerns must relate to showing 'special' interest with that person meh? It almost flipped me over... No wonder so many people have been reserved to showing love care & concern towards one another, especially towards the opposite gender. They cant differentiate the difference between loving people fervently & loving in a special relationship? *Blahh*

Well...It really bothered me because it will prevent people from opening up each others lives to develope pure friendship resulting from mere 'gossip' or 3rd party 'feeling'. Worst...if it involved a 'spokeman' who speaks on behalf of the person to the other one about our potential interest towards someone... I would say this is absurb! Who knows our inner most feeling better than ourself and God? Lesson Learnt: Never be anyone's spokesman.

Its really kinda pity if these unverified truth would hinder the development of PURE friendship....sigh......Well...any smart person would know how to differentiate it...

I wonder why I don't face with such 'accusation' with Dar and Mr Know-it-all...Maybe these people don't really understand me at all..... They dont know what's my like, love and wants.... I will still stick to "no compromise" on requirements :D

Alot of ???

Is our character 'fixed' the moment we are born? Or was it cultivated through the influence of others? Why some are extrovert, some introvert? Is it true that we are born natrually to be who we are?

Why some people procrastinate and some cheong like a bull without considering the consequences of each act??

Why some people made the decisions and then start regretting it??

Anyway! Whatever! I just wana move when He moves....Wait when He said so.....Forgives when I ought to.... etc!

Easter !! Resurrection Day!

Yippie!!!! Today witnessed the most powerful and touching scene! Yes, Jesus's Resurrection Day is my papaya sister's Daddy's Salvation Day too! Being a soul winner is indeed a joyful thingy! Do the right thing at the right time = Wisdom! It's really a divine appointment today! All of us worked as a team.. That is why we make up as the body of Christ! Some is the hands, some as the legs etc....

While praying the sinner's prayer, aiyo...I also wept lei! I wonder How am i able to witness or share the message next time lei! Am i beeing too emo or being too soft inside? Whatever! I must be stronger and yet, have a contrite heart!

It's really an honour to be chosen by God for me to be part of His body! And now I am undergoing 'training' to be better equipped with the Word, molding in Character, sharpen my spiritual senses etc! I really want to be know God more intimately this year! I want to help at least 4 people this year!

Felt so good to lead a well-balanced life...I AM NOT IN NUNNERY! I will remember that! Haha...

At the clinic now

Wow the clinic is so crowded. I have to wait so long and i am still waiting. Trust me. The long wait really can kill especially when u r feeling feverish, body aching, coughing with a running nose.

really feels like crying especially when your mood is down. I realised that i can be such a ham bao sia. When i am angry, i cry. When i am touched, i cry. When i was accused, i cry. I have changed from a iron lady to a paper tiger? Wats wrong w me! I am such a emotional freak!

Bleeding Love

Was listening to this song....wow...bleeding love wor.....
First thing that came to my mind was "Why must love until so 'kang kor' ar?"
Anyway, there are many different types of love ma...Agape love, Kinship love, friendship love & couple love lei....

So, what's the meaning of LOVE???
Refer to 1 Cor 13...the answers are all there...but how many of us can really be molded to that perfect definition about love? Love is KIND, Love does not behave RUDELY, Love PROTECTS....So what, even if good intentions were never appreciated or even, if it's being mis-interpreted?? Recognition or acceptance should not be the intention anyway to every act of service we performed, isn't it? As long as God knows our pure intention and heart is sufficient....

Expectations.....It's time to reflect on our expectations we have on others....It should be tie to a ball valve in a water tank...always floating on top, controlling the water in-take, sometimes it needs to be refill, sometimes don't. Be sensitive to every individual's "mine zone". This is practically the danger zone which we shouldn't step upon... Guess, will learn to be more sensitive when handling with people.... isn't life all about communicating & handling people all around us?

Well, everything happens for a reason...It's a season of molding...the question is, How are we dealing with it?? I think there are better ways to resolve things, always. Anyway....relationship, trust, openess need time to build upon & it's not a one way traffic, it takes two hands to clap. Well, in general, it's kinda difficult to rebuild a r/s once wounded... So wisdom & sensitivity is the key.

Just like in this song, it's too late to apologize after damage is done. So, dont live life with regrets....

My 5 cents worth of thoughts at this moment.




I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say that...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Bridge (guitar/piano)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

Won't Go Home without You

Maroon 5 did it again! Simply love this song....with his unique voice...
Definitely we wont go home without Maroon 5!

I WANT TO BE HEALTHY & CHEONG!

Fed up! I have been feeling unwell for the past 3 weeks. It started with this prolonged dry cough then blood in the phelgm...As I am getting slightly better 2 weeks later...I AM GETTING SICK, YET AGAIN TODAY!

I started to feel unwell since last Thursday.....Hence, I decided to spend the whole Saturday at home as I want to rest & be well and kicking when SOT starts. Drank more than 2 litres of water on Saturday....BUT STILL, I FELL SICK ultimately! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!

Well blame it on the FCW ??? It shouldn't be...I think its my immune system lei... Really must take care of my 'temple'. If I am unwell, how do I connect with people?! Hianz! Didn't realise that I am running with a fever until I took the temperature...Immediately popped in 2 panadols, 1 vitamin C pill and a running nose pill! Now I felt I am OD with drugs!

I am determine to control my diet from now! I WANT TO BE HEALTHY! How can I be a good testimony at work if I keep falling sick! sigh!

BUT I ALSO WANT TO "CHEONG" THIS FRIDAY !!! OMG! I WANT TO BE HEALTHY! I WANT TO CHEONG!!!!!!! ST JAMES POWER HOUSE! I WANT TO GO! I WANT TO GO! :(
Listening to the dance music at home, makes my "leg & body itchy" !
PLEASE GERRY!!!! >>>>GET WELL SOON!!!!!!

Into the Ocean - By Blue October

This is a not so new song...but i was listening to it this morning....somehow the lyrics just captured my attention again!
Can we just scream "Into the Ocean, END IT ALL!?"



I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life vest I'd be stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like (fourteen miles away)

Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
Be

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
The jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow, yeah
Just to prove that I knew how, yeah
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
Set front row in my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
into the ocean, end it all

[Zayra]
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(In to space)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(I thought of just your face)
Into the ocean end it all
Into the ocean end it all
Into the ocean end it all
Into the ocean end it all
Into the ocean end it all

Let it Go, It will be Back

I was very inspired this morning when I read what Rev Phil Pringle wrote regarding Jn10:17-18...refer to his wordpress for details Click here The key to keeping anything is to GIVE IT AWAY!

I was reminded of the recent combine cg at HoG...Pst DD mentioned, "what do we have in our hands to offer it to God?" To some it's money, business, family, career etc... BUT! What do I have?? I know I don't have anything valuable to offer it to God! The most precious thing to me right now is my comfort, my time, my enjoyment.

Is this what God wants me to offer/sacrifice? My time = my life. Do I have to set apart my time for God this year? Many are called, but few are chosen! Why? Bec it all bolts down to our WILLINGNESS....How ready are we to sacrifice, to obey and to LET GOD be the Lord of our lives???

Well, I admit the decision to say "YES! HERE I AM, SEND ME!" is NOT EASY at all! Bec I know my word is my bond...when I said Yes to Him, I have to fulfill it! I went through a period of running away, struggling, praying and ultimately submitting... I thank God that it was normal after hearing GW shared about her testimony during the retreat. She also ran away from God's call to attend "that" before....Haha after that still 'guai guai' attended it! And wow! Now she is a GW lei!

I believe this will be the best investment I've ever made! Invest my time for an exciting future! I don't like a mediocre life....I want an exciting & interesting life, with God! =) Where will be my ultimate promise land? I dont know for now... but I will just follow one step at a time. Not my will, but Yours be done.

Hence I believe as i "give away" my time, my money, my job, my leisure, my life, God will definitely give it back to me in due time!

You are the Best!

Thank You Abba for granting me the favour with those around me. Be it peers, subordinates and bosses..favour seems to be with me... And I know its not because of me, but it comes with constant faithful prayers. Thank You Abba! My boss has assured me of his FULL support! Yeah yeah *victory sign!*

Although unhappy thing happened today... Yes, someone stole S$300+ from my wallet and left me a $2 note, not even enuff to cover for my makan! Well, of course I will feel a bit sad as the money could have been used for better cause! Sigh...anyway... God KNOWS who did that and will deal with the person accordingly in due time. I can easily earn back the money...So, its no big deal to me. Treat it as an DONATION!

What matters most to me now is PREPARATION! I don't want any little things to distract me. Nothing can waiver my trust on God's goodness & promises as it is always YES & AMEN! I just have to be more prudent with my belongings.

Abba! You are the best! Nothing, No one, could take my eyes away from You!

Dreams on Fire!

Lyrics | Rahman f/ Suzzanne - Dreams on Fire lyrics

I adore this song the first time I heard it from the Slumdog Millionaire movie....Simply awesome! Talking about dreams...what kinda dreams do we have? Do we pursue our dreams & desires? Or we just sweep our dreams under the carpet & let it slipped away?

To every gal, there is a dream of finding the perfect man, to have a perfect wedding, a perfect marriage, a perfect children, perfect life...! But that is only a FANTASY! There is nothing deem as PERFECT here on earth, as Human Being is NEVER PERFECT! The most important thing is to embrace whatever we have, give thanks, treasure it, nurture it the best we could and ENJOY IT! =) Be contented....

We had an inagural single ladies 'conference' last Saturday, 28 Feb 2009. It was amazing and Susan's vision statement really inspired me! I will do likewise! She has imparted faith and confident in me once again! I AM THE APPLE IN GOD's EYE! Let there be no condemnation to the works of God!

I get to know God more once again...knowing whatever written in the bible is to PROTECT us! It is not meant to our 'kill joy' or to snatch away our happiness! I will embrace this season I am in, enjoy it the best I could....learn to love God wholeheartedly! If I can love the perfect God, then I will know how to love a imperfect man.... Only God can satisfy this special love placed within us, not man.

God, please close my eyes until a time when, you place the special person which you have 'tailored' for me. I don't want to "leech" onto each other, but we will compliment each other, physically, emotionally and spiritually... Grant me the wisdom to juggle between work, family and ministry. U have given hope & a future to Ruth, Rahad...I know u will give that to me as well! Build me up to be a GW as I would like to have a GM...not any Tom, Dick or Harry! Thanks for the confirmation & encouragement that for those who waits upon the Lord, we shall NEVER, NEVER, NEVER be put to shame!! Then my life would be a testimony to glorify God! I want to be a living testimony! Amen!

愛與被愛???

I love this song......can't help but wonder why all the nice nice songs are usually so emotionally "stirring"! =)

"LOVE!" Just 4 alphabet..BUT A VERY BIG WORD to understand...everyone is learning how to embrace love towards each other....
- Jesus loves us to the extent of death
- We love our parents & kids
- We love our friends
- BGR love

Which of the above is the most difficult to love??? Everyone is still learning and searching.... BUT! WHAT IS LOVE?! If I choose to protect myself, I will be behaving as a closed up person = WOOD BLOCK. If I choose to open up, I have to learn to accept rejections. If I choose to fall in love, I will risk being subject to emotional hurts. Hmm...need to strike a balance ba.....Anyway, I feel everyone is "wired up" to be love and to love.....

王浩信 梁晴晴 愛與被愛 KTV

Bridget Jone's Diary or Mine or ....??

What is the 'season' I am in for now? I know I need to prepare, prepare and prepare!
Prepare = learn, discipline, stretch, refine, shine then = GODLY ?! Do we have to learn through the hard way, is there really no easy way out or a more comfy way? Hmmm....why certain things just don't seem to end up the way we wanted from the start OR why certain things doesn't seem to happen at all?

The road blocker 'piggy' bank was busted...can't believe it! It took a while to save up but now, it was all drained within a day! How could that happened? Well, am I too one track minded? I just dont understand why there is a sudden change! How could it happened just so abruptly? Have we all lost our patience and tolerance?

Well...this song sounds appropriate now...OUT OF REACH! Many things happened, some happy, some not so...Some pretend that NOTHING happened. In the end...IT's ALL OUT OF REACH!


Knew the signs
Wasnt right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you,
And now I feel like the fool.

So confused, my hearts bruised,
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far,
I never had you heart,
Out of reach, couldnt see,
We were never meant to be.

Catch myself from despair,
I could drown if I stay here,
Keeping busy every day,
I know I will be okay.

But I was ?
So confused, my hearts bruised,
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far,
I never had your heart,
Out of reach, couldnt see,
We were never meant to be.

So much hurt, so much pain,
Takes a while to regain what is lost inside,
And I hope that in time, youll be out of my mind.
Ill be over you.

But now im? .
So confused, my hearts bruised,
Was I ever loved by you.

Out of reach, so far,
I never had your heart,
Out of reach, couldnt see,
We were never meant to be.

Out of reach, so far,
You never gave your heart,
In my reach, I can see,
Theres a life out there for me.

Slumdog Millionaire Review

Went to watch this movie with Jingy...it was indeed an awesome movie! No wonder the movie won so many Oscar Awards....including best music! However, the dance at the end of the movie really AMUSED me! Whoever the choreographer is... hehe

The movie comprises of kinship, love, society issues such as racism, corruption and gangs etc... The poor brothers lost their mom when she was killed in an anti-Muslims riot. The police witness the riot but did not do anything to help the helpless people. The brothers were street smart and know how to make a living .... but it has to be done thru stealing and selling etc....Then they met the thugs whom they thought was a saint as he adopted them & feed them....BUT they were wrong! The thugs adopted many other kids & made use of them to earn money through begging etc...to the extent of making a little kid blind in order for him to beg for more money since he was blind.. Sigh..abusing the compassion heart of human....Simply exploiting human rights.

Nevertheless, Jamal looks cute... hehe...dark eye brow, deep set and BIG eyes, POINTED NOSE and FAIR! =) ahaha